HOW TO SWEETEN OUR MARRIED LIFE John 2:1-11

HOW TO SWEETEN OUR MARRIED LIFE John 2:1-11 by JM Ngul Khan Pau

I read an article in a magazine which says “Marriage is like chewing a chewing gum. We begin with the flavor and after sometime there is no more taste, yet you keep on chewing.” If this is the case with the secular world, is it also true for Christian couple who pledged their vows at the marriage altar before God and the assembled witnesses? Has the joy of being married in God’s will vanished along with the taste of the flavor of the chewing gum? Are we keeping up superficially without the sweetness of being together? In some way do we feel we are lock up in this marriage relationship and yet there is no more life and zest in it?

Psychologist affirms that ‘inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the behaviors of children are motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.’ The emotional need for love, however, is not simply a childhood phenomenon. That need follows us into adulthood and into marriage. A couple without love will inevitably find that they are soon going to wreck their holy union. The heart of marriage is being together and to be in intimate love. Material things cannot substitute this; human heart longs for love and will only response to love.

How can we sweeten our married life? Is there a way out? Do we long to start it all over again? Some years ago I read a poem which expresses the same longing as:
I wish there were some wonderful place,
Called the land of beginning again.
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all our poor; selfish grief could be dropped
Like a shabby old coat at the door
And never put on again.

We have the Lord of the beginning, who is always ready to build us if we call upon Him (Ps. 127:1). The gospel John introduces five detailed accounts of new beginnings namely new wine (2:1-11), new temple (2:13-25), new birth (3:1-36), new life and new worship (4:1-42), new faith (4:43-54). I would like us to look at three points to help us in bringing the divine sweetness into our marriage.

I. INVITE JESUS: (Vs. 1-2)

The wedding is always a gala occasion during the time of Christ, and in a village like Cana, it would be a community celebration. It would last for days as it began with a procession to the home of the groom, a joyous, noisy parade, with an open house and entertainment. “Jesus and His disciples were invited,” showed Jesus was intimately



closed to His disciples. They would not have been invited as a group had they been total strangers. We don’t know whether the invitation was extended to them because tradition recorded the groom’s family was Mary’s relations. However, the most important thing is to invite Jesus into our married life.

Have you invited Jesus to come into your home? Would you offer Him the right place as the head of your home? God acted as the first minister of the first wedding in the Garden of Eden. He instituted marriage and laid down healthy basic rules. He knows how it works best. He longs to be invited to come into yours. Why not invite Him and say like the disciples, “Abide with us, for it is towards evening and the day is far spent,” (Luke 24:29).

II. INFORM JESUS: (Vs. 3-5)
(A) Inform Him of the Crisis: “They have no wine” (Vs. 3). Refreshments were provided to all the guests. Of these, wine was very important. To fail in providing adequately for the guests would involve social disgrace. In a closely knit community of the New Testament days, such an error would never be forgotten and would have haunt, the newly married couple all their lives. The situation prompted Mary’s urgency when she informed Jesus of the emergency. The Lord’s reply to His mother Mary was not so abrupt as it seems, “Woman” was a polite form of address. Jesus used it when He spoke to His mother from the cross (19:26). Two translations of Jesus’ rejoinder to His mother are possible: (i) “What business is that of ours?” or (ii) “What authority do you have over me?” Since Mary expressed neither surprise nor resentment, the former translation is more acceptable in this instance.

The Jewish Rabbi said, “Without wine, there is no joy.” There are many homes today without the fresh wine of love. There is a deep longing and desire for love, and yet without Jesus, all human good ingenious ways and resources are bankrupt. Have you inform Him of the crisis and dryness in your married life? Is the cup of love running dry? Is the honeymoon love, the thing of the past and your relationship getting cold? Both the husband and wife should take time to reflect and renew their commitment to one another and to the Lord. Informing Him of the crisis, reminds me of the beautiful song composed by Elisha A. Hoffman:
I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus,
I cannot bear my burdens alone
I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus
Jesus can help me, Jesus alone.

(B) Instruction from Him to be followed: “Whatever He says to you, do it” (Vs. 5) Mary acknowledged that Jesus can act independently; and she confidently told the servants to follow His order. She fully expected that He would take appropriate action. The scene indicate that Jesus was no longer under her authority but that He was living by a new pattern timed by the purpose of God. Jesus had begun His miracle here, not at the



request of earthly parents whom He still respected, but according to the purpose of His heavenly Father (cf. John 17:1). And His mother now seems to submit to the mystery of that timing, “My hour has not yet come.” There seems to be a quiet release, a letting go, in her statement to the servants, “Whatever He say to you do it.”

III. IMPORTANCE OF JESUS: (Vs. 6-11)
The Lord in His own time turned to the six great stone pots that were used for purification. Whenever guests arrived, the water from these pots was poured over their hands in a ritual of cleansing. This purification rite was an external act that did not make anything new or bring any fresh wine. These water pots represent the whole ritual of Jewish law, the Old Covenant, which really became meaningless in the presence of Jesus who poured out an abundance of the wine under the New Covenant. The old wineskins cannot contain the new wine (The Communicator’s Commentary on John). To sweeten our relationship, we need Jesus. Without Him, there is no permanent joy and love in the family. Our store house of love will run out in the mundane of daily activities. We have to come to Him to receive the overflowing new wine from His bosom.

(A) He was obeyed: (Vs. 5-8). At the command of Jesus, the servants obeyed. The water pots were filled with water to the brim. There is completeness in this simple act with room for nothing else, no magic or cheating. Then out of that provision, Jesus asked them to “draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” The master of the feast was the headwaiter, who takes care of the distribution of food and drink at a large social gathering. Jesus’ instruction was followed in filling up the six water containers. The Lord transformed the simple water into fresh and the best wine. If our marriage is to be meaningful and fruitful, we are to follow His instructions. We are to come in contact with Him in our daily family altar. We are to say like the prophet Samuel, “Speak Lord, for Thy servant is listening,” (I. Sam. 3:9).

(B) He saved the best until the last: (Vs. 10) In order to feed the guests, it was customary that a bottle of wine would be diluted with three parts of water. However, the wine provided freely by the Lord, which could be compared to the “living water” (John 4:11-15) was having special taste. The master of the feast and the bridegroom were ignorant. They didn’t know where “it came from.” So the wine was poured out, and all those present rejoice at its rich abundance. They have never tasted wine like this before.

Usually the best wine would be served first and then the lesser quality would be served at the end when the guests are drunk and they could not tell the difference. With humans the best usually come first, including marriage. We put the best upfront for others (even our spouse) to see and hide our mess (no wine) behind. We try to pretend as if nothing is wrong with us. Yet, we know the dryness, loneliness and emptiness inside of us. The Lord always has the best for us. The grace we have tasted when we received Him we now drink freely knowing the rich wonder of forgiveness and life in the Spirit. The Lord will provide the best wine to those who are willing to submit themselves to His authority.


(C) He was glorified: (Vs. 11). From this miracle, we see the authority of the Lord over the physical universe. The nature of the miracle is plain. Jesus had come to bring about conversion, water to wine, sinners to saints. The effect of this incident is noteworthy. It marked the beginning of a ministry accompanied by supernatural power and it proved so convincing to the disciples that they “put their faith in Him.” The deed helped them to conclude that Jesus was the Messiah (The Expositor’s Bible Commentary Vol. 9). Will you invite Jesus into your marriage relationship? He will provide the best wine that will last even for generations to come.